Troy Barnes, CRSW and RCO Manager at White Horse Recovery, never thought his life would take the turns it did. Growing up, he was the “do-gooder” of his friend group—a skinny, music-loving kid who excelled in school and stayed out of trouble.
“I was the last person in my friend group to ever try weed. But in high school, I started experimenting with alcohol and drugs. The big thing was acid, and at that point, it was still kind of innocent. But things started to turn dark once I got to college.”
In college, while studying music and journalism at Plymouth State, Troy’s struggles with undiagnosed ADHD and OCD took a toll. Substance use became a way to cope, and he eventually dropped out. He moved to San Francisco where his addiction intensified.
“When I tried meth for the first time, I overdosed. It really messed me up. I developed a panic disorder and I had to relearn how to do basic things—I couldn’t even go to the grocery store without having a panic attack.”
Seeking a new path, Troy spent several years at a Buddhist monastery, living by Buddhist teachings and exploring spirituality. But addiction crept back in, this time in the form of opioids.
“I started doing pills and heroin, and then started selling black tar heroin. Things really went downhill for me once I started using needles. At some point, I even started making meth and got busted. My life just kept unraveling.”
Eventually, he was arrested and spent a year in prison, followed by two years on parole. After his release, Troy tried to rebuild his life, but the cycle of addiction continued. He moved to Bangor, Maine, hoping for a fresh start, but ended up homeless and using again.
His parents never gave up on him, offering support and encouraging him to seek help. The turning point came when his father was dying.
“What really got me clean was wanting my father to see me sober before he passed. And he did. One of the last times I spoke to him, we just laughed together. It was the first time I really hung out and laughed with my father. That was huge for me.”
Troy entered rehab and began the long process of healing. He participated in therapy and counseling, and slowly started to regain his life.
For years, he struggled with feelings of wasted potential and loneliness, but things began to change when he joined White Horse Recovery in November 2023. There, he found a sense of purpose and self-respect that had eluded him for so long.
“White Horse really opened up things for me. It felt like I was finally giving back, but also like I gained a certain amount of self-respect and dignity that I hadn’t granted myself yet. That’s something I still carry with me.”
Troy’s journey is a testament to resilience, hope, and the power of community.
“Getting clean is so much more than not getting high or not getting drunk. It’s about finding purpose, building relationships, and learning to live again.”
If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. White Horse Recovery offers services for those ready to start their journey to recovery. For more information, call 603-651-1441, Ext. 1.